Pride Month 2020 | My Pride Story
In June of 2000 President Bill Clinton deemed the month of June to be Pride month for the lgbtq+ community. The month of June was chosen to remember the Stonewall Riots in 1969 which is seen as the catalyst to the gay liberation of the United States. Even with the supreme court ruling in June 2015, many lgbtq+ folks, especially those of color see discrimination every day. The priority right now is not to focus on the progress, but how we can make our own communities truly a place of inclusivity and equality as we work to do the same for the nation. With most pride festivals being cancelled due to covid-19 I am going to be giving resources, education and showing support to organizations that are fighting for the lgbtq+ community throughout the month of June.
Right now both social media feeds and towns all over the world are filled with voices speaking on black lives matter and I hope that these voices continue to be in the spotlight until actionable change happens. I want to use my platform as one to amplify the voices of bipoc on these topics and continue to do the hard work of learning to have hard conversations. As a white cis queer woman, I must use my privileges to fight for the many bipoc in our community and around the world.
In full transparency, I wrote this blog post weeks ago. I am deciding today to share it as planned because I want to be a model of speaking up, standing in my truth and having difficult conversations (even if some people won’t like it.) This is my truth and this is my pride story.
Today, I’m starting out with coming out and speaking about my own story. I’ve known for about 10 years that I am bisexual, but only have recently came out about it. “But Sydney, you’re married to a man! Have you even dated a woman before? How do you really know your bisexual?” I know I’m married to a cis-gendered man, BUT my marriage does not make me any less queer. I’ve hid my feelings for years because that’s what society has trained us to do. I’ve fought along side my fellow lgbtq+ folks but have always been seen as an ally.
At an early age it was very clear I wasn’t your typical “girly girl” even in preschool I wouldn’t wear a dress or a skirt without shorts underneath. I didn’t really like sports, and I’m pretty sure I only stayed in soccer for as long as I did because all the snacks. I did like boys A LOT, my cousin would tell me stories of me as a little kid chasing after boys on the beach trying to get them to pay attention to me. I had a pretty bad ugly duckling stage in middle school (hello 90’s kid, where was Youtube when I needed it?!?!) and struggled with my weight which lead to my anorexic high school and college years. Why does all of this matter? Because it’s me. In the middle of all this has been my struggle with my sexuality and who I am as a human. In middle school and high school, girls would get teased for coming out as bi. It was always said being bi was just a phase or a cry for attention but being attracted to any human regardless of gender is valid and should be respected.
Being in a heterosexual marriage has been the biggest struggle for me to find my place in the lgbtq+ community. TL;DR: You don’t just magically become straight when you’re in a hetero relationship. I’ve had “friends” that don’t believe my feelings are valid and I’m just trying for attention. I’ve also had “friends” in the lgbtq+ community disrespect my husband because he’s a cis white male even though he’s one of the most open and accepting people I know. Why wouldn’t you celebrate that he loves me for me, and respects me for who I am as a human?? Bisexual erasure is unfortunately such a huge problem in society and in the lgbtq+ community, which is why it took me so long to come out. I was honestly afraid of what people would think, and honestly afraid to lose clients due to my beliefs and feelings. When in reality I was hiding from those who feel the same way as me and face a lot of the same struggles.
My goal as a wedding photographer has always been to give each and everyone of my clients the best experience possible. I hold myself to a very high standard and give 200% to every one of my couples, regardless of size, gender, sexuality, religion or beliefs. My job is to be your wedding photographer and capture one of the most important days of your life so you can remember those memories for years to come.
I have to give a HUGE shout out to Tia, who challenged me be vulnerable and open about my life so I can serve those who are struggling too better. I’m tired of hiding and not being open in my personal life and in my business. The time is now to speak up and speak out.
Every Friday during pride month, I’m going to be sharing information and also some organizations to support and donate to. Education will always be important to me, it’s a path for growth. For ALL lgbtq+ folks, and especially those of color, I’m using my platform and my privilege to educate and fight for their rights.